When I had dreamed of my marriage ceremony in times past, my plans had always been fairly straightforward. I wished for a large party and a small, simple wedding ceremony. I am never one to stick to tradition. I thought that, if my fiance concurred, a civil wedding ceremony would be sufficient. Needless to say, we had very different concepts about what defines "proper" wedding ceremonies. As much as I desired to pare it all down to the bare minimum, she wanted to complicate things. She wished to have ten wedding songs, sung by all distinct people. I am as much for wedding songs as anyone, but there's such a thing as wedding songs overload!

The odd part is that, in all the other aspects of our marriage ceremony, we had concurred on things. We have had no difficulties choosing a chapel, a wedding party site, or even thank you cards for the presents that we were going to receive. We're both artists, you understand, and it helps that we have the exact same aesthetic. It makes choosing wedding gowns, wedding ceremony centerpieces, and the like much simpler. We did not even need to hire a wedding planner - we knew what we wished things to look like. Nonetheless, when it came down to the actual wedding ceremony, we had zero commonality. Our concepts were as unlike as night and day.

For my fiance, the conventional wedding ring ceremony was quite important. She was in this very difficult spot of needing to juggle the desires of her family with her own wishes. You see, her folks were very conventional Catholics. The power of parental denial enabled them to pretend that she was even now a committed Catholic, but we knew that they would become very upset if we didn't have a ceremony that was at the very least nominally Catholicism-based. Nonetheless, she wanted us to write our wedding vows. Basically, we had to juggle two vastly differing things: a traditional wedding ceremony and a modern mindset where we were able to make our own promises. It was not simple.

Ultimately, we made a compromise on the wedding ceremony. I didn't care for the public nature of weddings, even though I had no problem with the pledge of devotion. We determined, then, that we would say the regular vows in the church, and speak our own individual wedding vows in private. That way, it could be a more emotional, intimate minute. I would estimate that neither of us were very glad with it, but no-one was so upset with the results that it would ruin the day. All in all, it was a pretty decent bargain.

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